Weary

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Sometimes, I feel really tired and I start to question myself…what am I doing this for?

For money?

But I’m not after a high end lifestyle, and I don’t think I’m particularly high maintenance.

For fame?

I don’t particularly want to be famous, I really just want to do a good job, to contribute meaningfully to the business, to the brand.

To personal satisfaction?

Perhaps. I take pride in what I do; and constantly want to be better, if not the best. Every piece of work should involve best effort in fulfilling the needs of business and balancing various demands of stakeholders.

But sometimes, this can be a difficult and frustrating act to juggle, especially if both are not aligned.

Today is just one of those days when I’m not sure why am I doing this anymore, why am I trying to make sense out of some seemingly impossible asks, questioning if I should just give it all up.

But walking away feels like defeat, like I’ve lost to the challenge…something that I cannot accept.

Not ready to throw in the towel, but trying to overcome it seems to be testing my limits.

😦

让我害怕的。

花言巧语的人, 我不怕。
欺善怕恶的人, 我也不怕。
我最害怕的, 是会唱歌的人。

有些人, 有些事, 都一言难尽。
但就有好多歌曲, 歌词都能把一些复杂的心情, 述说得丝丝入扣。
如再加上一把能够感动你的声音,
就让我自我保护的能力完全消弱。

会唱歌的人,
真的好让我好害怕。

忠言: 好好经营你的30-47岁 ~ æ¨æ¾œ

今早,在脸书看到一则生活稿。 这份稿的作者是杨澜, 诉说着我们要怎样好好经营我们的30-47岁的岁月。

读了之后,觉得对于暂时迷失的人,它能是个很好的提醒 – 提醒着我们不要在继续迷失或堕落,赶紧找回方向,继续前进。

个人感言:读了虽然没有大彻大悟,但还是有一言惊醒梦中人的感觉。 希望能把这份感觉维持得久一点。在这里, 想把它与大家分享。

[生活] 杨澜:好好经营你的30-47岁

1、学会成熟

1、这个年龄已经不允许你不成熟,当你无力把握命运中的某种爱,某种缘,某种现实,学会放手。给自己身心一个全新的开始,只要信心在,勇气就在;努力在,成功就在。

2 、储蓄友谊

真挚的友谊是人生最温暖的一件外套。它是靠你的人品和性情打造的,在这个年龄一定要好好地珍惜它,用心去储存。

3 、播种善良

一定要极尽自己所能及之事,让那些比你苦、比你难的人感受到这世上的阳光和美丽。这样的善良常常是播种,不意间,就会开出最美丽的人性之花来。

4 、懂得音乐

音乐可以陶冶情操,它会洗涤你的身心。会打开你的记忆和想象,全心地投入,更会给你带来意想不到的宁静。它是日子中的味精,点点滴滴中让我们的生活有了滋味。

5 、避开两种苦

尘间有两苦,一是得不到之苦,二是钟情之苦。在你付诸努力的前提下,所有的、想得到的都当作一场赌。胜之坦然;败之淡然。好在这年龄还具有一定的资本,我们可以卷土重来。世间最苦是钟情,如果在这时候还有这样的情愫,一定要象打扫灰尘一样,把它从心屋里清出去。

6 、学会承受

有些事情需要无声无息地忘记,经过一次,就长一次智慧;有些苦痛和烦恼需要默默地去承受;历炼一次;丰富一次。

7 、保留感恩的心

感恩的心一定要时时保留,它不仅让你怜惜一沙一石、一草一枝,还会让你淡漠某种无形的压力,平抚你的欲望和争斗,更多的时候,有一些幸福的感觉也往往来自于此。

8 、热爱工作

尽管它决没有喝茶、聊天儿那样惬意,但它检验着我们的智慧和能力,是我们体现价值和成就所必备一种内容。一定要全心爱它,它让你大半生有事做、有饭吃。

9 、善于学习

读书和学习都是在和智慧聊天,它不仅保证你的记忆力、感悟力。你的有些思想来源于此,有些见解来源于此。并且还能医愚,还会长久地保持你的个性魅力,这是练瑜珈做美容所不能达到的效果,何乐而不为。

10 、享受运动

很多人认为自己胖、自己丑…于是,就有人拚命地节食减肥、手术美容。你的大部分时间与其就浪费在这样的情况下,不如去享受运动、享受自然。你的体重就不会因懒惰而上涨,你的容貌也不会因岁月而减少生动。那么你就在某种程度上保存住了你的青春,你的快乐,你的健康。等老了,和心爱的人一起,找一个小镇,安静的住下,早上在巷口看太阳,晚上拄着拐棍敲夕阳…

离开一个地方,风景就不再属于你;错过一个人,那人便再与你无关。人生就是这样,牵挂着、烦恼着、自由着、限制着;走出一段路程,回头一望,却也生动着、美丽着;有着你爱的人和爱你的人,有着你喜欢的事和需要你做的事,有着牵挂你的人和你牵挂着的人;

人这一辈子是短暂的,所以要让自己健康着、开心着、幸福着,偶尔还要醉着。幸福,就是找一个温暖的人过一辈子。人生就应如此。

A long way

6 years ago, I took a leap of faith and got into a relationship. 

5 years on, it took alot of courage to step out of that.

Now, one year on, I’m trying not to be afraid, to tell myself to enjoy and cherish each experience, each moment as they happen, whether fleeting, short-lived or lanced with future possibilities. 

Savour the moment, cherish the memories. 

#QOTD

Living life, better.

In the blink of an eye, we’ve now come to yet another new year. Welcome to 2013, ladies and gentlemen, the year I’m going to turn 30.

Do I feel like I’m 30? No, not really.

But how exactly is being 30 suppose to feel like? I imagine it’s feeling all grown up, always knowing what to do in all situations, always feeling tired since folks at 30 supposedly don’t have stamina like younger people, especially when it comes to nights out.

Hmmm.

Nah, not really.

But now, I find myself wanting to do all sorts of ridiculous things that I had never done, not even when I was a teenager.

I was always the sensible teenager – the one with a good head on her shoulders, they said. In my younger days, I’ve skipped over several phases of life such as idol-chasing, skipping school…can’t think of anymore now.

However, I now find myself indulging in a youth fallacy.

Not too long ago, someone introduced me to a Korean variety show, Running Man (RM). Initially, the overall concept of the show sounded really lame (adults tearing off each others’ name tags). But, after I’ve watched a couple of episodes, I was hooked.

The overall concept described above was still correct, however, what made the show thoroughly entertaining was the RM cast. Their live commentary, their banter on show proved more than sufficient to overcome the language barrier, enticing me to become a fan.

It was through this variety show that I came to know Kim Jong Kook. Great singer, good entertainer and, based on the RM show, he seems to be someone with wits and good values. Doesn’t hurt that he looks cute and (ahem) strong too.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been so taken with someone and his works.

This interest has also motivated me to want to pick up a new language skill (Hangul) to better understand the overall K-culture, conversations and also, to better appreciate his works. In my recent trip to Korea, I’ve also purposefully went out in search of his albums.

The above, to you, may not seem like anything wild.

But to me, it’s the most I’ve done that’s closest to idol-chasing.

Some say it’s an attempt to cling on to younger years. Others say it’s a reaction to some recent major changes in my life.

I say that it’s just me throwing off some of the stringent controls I’ve placed on myself for so many years to indulge and live a little….within reasonable limits.

This year, I’m not sure if I want to set resolutions. Maybe just one.

I want to live my life, better.

Fighting!