Where I’ll really like to be….right now.

phuket_beach

With the sun, the sea and that gentle breeze.

This is Phuket several years ago.

Although many say it’s over commercialized with endless tourist traps, but I still think it’s a beautiful place that’s worth visiting. After spending almost a month immersed in the many charming but cold cities of Europe, something in my soul is yearning to spend some time with the big ocean, cheery sunshine and inviting pool.

Dream dream dream.

Letters From Our Old Self; To Our Future Self

.memories.growing-up.me.

One of my friends shared an interesting piece of article on Facebook – Keeping a diary or even blogging can be sometimes viewed as tiresome and time-consuming, especially for children or young adults. To overcome this, a mom set up different email addresses to encourage her kids to write to themselves. This way, they can share and record their current thoughts, experiences or even feelings in an easy and convenient way for future reflection.

Indeed, I thought this was an ingenious way to promote journal-writing in a fuss-free manner that might very well appeal to folks with short attention span, or who are extremely short on time.

Just that day, while I was clearing out some of my old stuff, I found my old diaries and journals (these were written way before blogging existed and where the dial-up Internet connection with the machine-alien-sounding noise was considered a luxury). I sat down and flipped through the books, reading what I’ve written with joy or tears in so many years past. Looking back, it seemed like so many of my old worries were so silly, insignificant and uncalled for. Others were downright ridiculous – what was I thinking about then, really?

This exercise has made me realised how much I’ve changed and progressed. It also reinforced the thinking that we are, indeed, capable of surviving and even overcoming many barriers which initially seemed overwhelming or impossible back then. Even painful or unhappy memories fade and dissolve in time.

I believe they call this growing up.

This is, however, only part of the journey and there seems to be some more growing up to do as we go along. Perhaps – one day twenty years later – I’ll look back at this place and again, laugh with my old self at how beautifully foolish I was. We’ll see.

Sing me a song, a birthday song.

In another 5 minutes, it’s going to be 26 February, otherwise known as my birthday.

Mixed bag of emotions; happy because it’s my day, a little sad, because time seems to be flying past, and I’m one step further away from being mid-twenties (which I really consider to be one of life’s prime times), and a little nostalgic because my memories seemed to fade deeper into history.

I’m not sure if I’m done being my current age. I think I’ve still got so much to see, to do and to experience! I don’t know if I want to move on to the next stage, when I’m not finished at this spot yet, ya know?

Can I be like Joey and try to strike a deal with the big guy up there, to let me remain at this age until I feel like I’m good to move forward? Please?

Oh well.

Despite my ramblings above, I do and am very thankful for family, loved one, and friends for  remembering, for your warm wishes, gifts and efforts, and most importantly, for sticking around. I hope we’ll be stuck for a long time to come.

Happy birthday to me.

2011 birthday 1

With love, kisses and hugs, me (too).

my love affair with roses

note: this is a backdated post

roses have always been highly sought-after as it is the ultimate symbol of love, especially in the victorian times where the flower has inspired many famous poets and playwrights such as william shakespeare in their literary works.

an ardent fan of literature works based on the victorian times, it would come as no surprise that roses will be my favorite flowers too. to be specific, red roses.

the fiery red color signifies burning passion that threatens to scald the bearer, in contrast to its tender petals that feel like silk to the touch. this blatant contrast seems to hold a special attraction for me.

anyhow, the point of this post –

thank you for this.

roses from you

as much as i loved the flowers, it was more the thought and effort that you’ve went through to find out that these were my favorites that touched me more.

Phantom of the Opera

phantom of the opera

The scene was set in January when we decided that we will watch the Phantom of the Opera together in April.

I’ve always been mesmerised by the story of the Phantom of the Opera.

Dark, mysterious, painful and romantic, the storyline has captivated my heart long ago even before I’ve watched it in motion in any form, be it a movie or musical.

When the movie came to town in the past, I’ve watched it immediately. Despite being a commercial film, the show deeply moved me. It was not so much about the actors, the quality of the movie or even the singing, it was the storyline.

Watching the musical itself, with flesh and blood actors…just made it even more enthralling.

The Phantom – The dark mysterious character that had to live his whole life behind the shield of a mask.

Despite having endured torturing loneliness for most of his life and facing rejection from the world, he had the capacity to love Christina so deeply. That, in itself, is a remarkable trait. With his overpowering chrisma and charm, he tugged at my heart strings so. As I saw him battle the pain of rejection and a lost love, it was almost as if I could feel it myself – the wrenching pain in the heart that made it difficult to breathe, the suffocating sensation whereby life seemed to have collapsed upon you.

Don’t you remember the feeling?

Most will probably call me stupid. It’s just a musical afterall. A fragment of imagination of an artistic mind.

But I can’t help but to be deeply affected. It felt like reality and fantasy had fused into one…I was transported so far beyond into the story.

The grandeur, the pain, the passion and the love. I was simply swept away.

Words cannot describe how I felt…Even now as I think back, I could still feel the story so vividly that I can feel the tremours within me.

Only one word can describe the experience – magical.

And it wasn’t just the musical itself that made it so.

The whole night seemed like a fantasy… and it was one magical fantasy that I hope didn’t have to end.

But all good things come to an end and when you’re so high up, there’s no where to go but down.

Now, let the pain begin.

St. Valentine’s Day

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. Feeble as it may sound, work and friends have really been taking up all of my time.

So many events have passed, without a trace of a word or entry. Christmas…New Year…and now, it’s Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s day – a day to celebrate your love for your significant other. It’s supposed to be a day of love and happiness, of showing how you feel towards the one your heart strings are tugged to. However, why does it seem to be causing so much grief amidst the singles and the attached?

Single people feel especially vulnerable while attached people bemoan about having to plan and prepare to surprise and delight their loved ones. So no matter which side of the fence you fall on, it’s a lose-lose situation.

It has only been half a day, and I’ve heard more than enough grouses just because of this Valentine’s day. It really irks and saddens me at the same time.

Yes, being single myself, I do understand the ‘peer pressure’ and envy that one might feel while looking at all the lovey-dovey couples on the street. I’ve gone through that phrase myself too. But, upon taking one step back, I realised that how you feel regarding V-day really depends on your mindset. You call the shots.

V-day’s really just another day. Treat it as such, and you’ll be fine.

Take it from me!

On a side note, to all my beloved friends:

Happy Valentine’s Day. Know that I will always love you, even when I’m overly caught up in work. I’ve always kept you where you ought to be – in my mind, and my heart.

Seasons’ Greetings

here’s wishing all of you…a very merry christmas.

seasons greetings

it has been raining almost non-stop recently.

no wonder they say god is fair. when we don’t get snow, we get rain.

once again, merry christmas everybody. may all peace and love be unto you.