i’m tired. i’m really tired. tired of people playing mind games, tired of people putting on acts in front of me and vice versa and tired of feeling frustrated. because these people happen to be people whom i’ve known for a long time. some are old acquaintances, some are good friends who go way back…
i’m really exhausted. exhausted of pretending that all these doesn’t matter to me when it does. exhausted of always putting on a smile when i don’t mean it.
it’s always harder when these people are good friends. good friends who go way back.
i know they love me. i am grateful. but this love might not be strong enough to overcome certain bumps on the path. and i might not be strong enough to pull over this tide. i’m still struggling to try.
change is always going around but sometimes i can’t seem to accept and adapt to changes as quickly as i would have liked to. why?
yesterday, i had a conversation with a friend and this was how it went.
friend: you are a easy person to get-to-know, a difficult person to know.
friend: you are a easy person to get-to-know because you seemed to be out-going and sociable. but you are a difficult person to know. how many people do you actually confide in?
me: huh? *this time, it’s act blur. how am i supposed to answer this question?*
friend: you know what i’m talking about. think on it. stop being a blardy coward.
it was pretty much a one-sided conversation. where got people talk about such things out of the blue one?! siao ah.
i think he’s a psycho.
okay, moving on to my weekend!
i revisited wala’s after a blardy longggg time. it was the first time that unexpected was playing on a friday and i freaking HAD to be there. so off i went. what i thought was a small gathering turned out to be a freaking huge one. but i had fun… really. i love the band, i love shirlyn (spelling correct?) and most of all, i loved the crowd whom i was with.
and i got tempted to go to double O. by two veryyyyyyyyyyy hawt girls. the music was not too bad and we danced. and danced. and danced!
another sweetie couldn’t resist the temptation and joined us later that night. wahaha!
oh, and that was friday. did i mention that already?
saturday, at a freaking twelve thirty, i went down to double O again. fuck man, double O should give me some platimum membership for going there so frequently. wtf. anyway, it wasn’t really a good night. so, there.
having sunday blues now…at the thought of work tomorrow. oh gawddddddddddd………