on saturday, a good friend said in my face that he thinks i’m very cynical.
do i agree?
i’m a realist. i’m practical.
do i want to be this way?
seriously, who wants to be cynical?
nobody is ever born cynical, but why do so many of us ended up this way?
when we were a child, nobody could accuse us of being cynical. as children, we believed in dreams, fairy tales and happily-ever-after. everything was pure and untainted, like our first loves.
first loves are normally end up as stories, stories that go along the line of overcoming seemingly overwhelming obstacles to be able to be in love and stay together but it didn’t last in the end due to some reason that couldn’t be helped. it was pure then, purity breeds strength. strength to go against all odds.
but it isn’t easy, pain is created in this process. first love, first time and we are able to endure but humans are just animals of conditioned responses. the first time, we experienced pain because we didn’t know any better. the second time, we still experienced pain because we just ain’t convinced. but how long can that last?
it is only a matter of time when we can identify what brings pain…and how we can avoid it and protect ourselves.
this is basic human instinct, survival instinct.
i just happened to have a highly developed sense of these instincts and got labelled as being cynical.
i do apologise for my senseless rantings.