A new beginning

The end of 2004 brings forth a new year which signifies a new beginning for me. Although we cannot wash away our actions and our memories of the past, i guess setting new year resolutions does give us a chance to verbalise (whether in writing, vocal or thoughts) what we want to achieve in this new year. Sort of like embarking on a new journey with new goals, isn’t it?

Here are some of my new year resolutions for 2005:

1. To continue searching for me
Even though i’ve been in existance for 21 (coming 22) years, i realise i still don’t know and don’t understand myself. Who am i? What kind of person am i, truly? Thinking back of my 21 years, i realised that i’ve made myself change at some turning points in my life and now, i do not really understand why i made the decisions that i did. Oh well, nevermind. With this new year, i truly hope that i can progress further on my self-discovery journey. *crosses fingers*

2. Learn driving
I’ve been saying that i wanted to learn how to drive since secondary two and now, *tadah* i’m in the FINAL university year. My god, i’m really a first-class procastinator. Since this semester i have alot more free time (with zero eca committments and only 2 mods!! *grinz*), i SHALL learn driving. I SHALL!!! And that will happen… after i find a part time job, so that i can finance the driving lessons myself. Well, at least part of it i hope.

3. Move on
As i get older, i often caught myself thinking about the past and with that, i get hit by all the feelings that come accompied with these memories. There were happiness, laughter, anger, confusion, hurt and tears. Regretfully, the strongest feelings were those of the latter. When these feelings get out of control, i can feel myself sinking right back into these dark waves once again. I’ve often chided myself…Ling, get a grip. That was in the past and its far far away from you now. But i just can’t push it away sometimes and even when i do, it will just sneak up with me again and catch me unexpectedly. I need to move on – can someone teach me how?

4. Be Happy!
Happiness can’t be bought and it seems to be so elusive to me. Sometimes i feel it fleetingly, only have it to slip away so quickly that i can’t hold onto it. Okay, everyone tell me how do u find happiness? I need to find mine in a hurry. If not, i’m gonna burn out and die. *choy*

Hmm.. so what resolutions did you make this year?

Just the last two weeks, I’ve bought myself three pairs of shoes. my gawd. Shoes seems to be attacting me like never before and now, i’m starting to understand why women are so crazy about shoes, as portrayed by Carrie in Sex and the City. i’ve got to stop myself, before ending up with a frightful number of pairs. Stop my addiction!!!!!

It’s late, so late but i’m not feeling sleepy. So i shall continue to talk incoherently. Haha. Tomorrow my hall is going to have a netball game with another hall and one of my better friends in hall is feeling a little under the heat because of the game. Although i’m not really feeling very optimistic about the game outcome tomorrow but they, still, shall have my fullest support. Afterall, in sports, winning isn’t everything just as long as we’ve played a good game so.. All the best, gals!

It’s raining outside now…and i can hear the sound of the rain. It’s soothing…makes me feel more relaxed. I love rain, do you?

Goodnight.

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