here’s to a fabulous new year, and a new beginning!

of arsenal and liverpool (part 2)

yay… arsenal won!!! 2-1!!!!

take that, you liverpool people. muahahahahhaha *evil laughter*

anyway, i’m feeling pretty lighthearted right now. just came back from a ktv thing with my ex-co where i think i spent more time drinking and playing five ten than singing.

i didn’t go there to drink anyway. i went there to accompany a ex-co (also a friend). he just broke up with his gf…poor boy. i think this period is really hard to get over…and he really needs people to keep him company right now.

i can still remember that i was in his state not too long ago…although circumstances were not quite the same.. but what we felt were mayhap a little similar..

what he needs now..is not someone to tell him what to do….

he needs someone to listen to him….although he might be saying the same things over and over again. he needs someone to be around him. to talk crap..to drink..to smoke.. to just waste time together. to keep him from being alone.

being a friend, i will definitely do all i can.. to the best i can to help him through this period… cos once it’s over.. he will be able to stand on his own again!

gogogo… i’ll pray for you my friend! and i will try to see you through to the end… because i was blessed with friends who kept me company when i was at the same phrase..

lps..uncle wong…gracey…vanna…nad…

thank you.

and now it’s my turn to pass this blessing on.

i might not have the correct things to say….i might not be the wisest around.

but i know my ear’s always ready..and my tissues are on hand. i will stretch out my hand to grab you….if you allow me to.

be strong my friend! we can get through this together!

of arsenal and liverpool

tonight’s the match….and i just realised that my cable doesn’t have the fucking sports channel!!!! bloody hell!!

well, it’s half time now..and the gunners are leading by 1. yay!

and who doesn’t use the fuck word nowadays. bloody hell.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

so there.

of you and such

it has been a long time. or at least it felt like it has.

how are you? how are you getting by? are you meeting your sales figures or just getting by?

i have a million questions that i want to ask but it’s just all there inside my head. i can’t say i’ve been living horribly all these while. life goes on you know. my life has gone on and everything pretty much remained the same. just without you in it. that causes nothing more than aching feeling somewhere in my chest and sometimes i can’t breathe properly.

certain songs, certain places, a certain car colour, a certain spoken phrase…or even a certain pair of heels trigger the thoughts of you, of certain scenes in the past. sometimes i relish these memories with a slow smile on my face. more often than not, the feeling of heartache comes back. when im energised enough, i’ll push it away firmly to the back of my mind and continue to do whatever i was involved in. when i can’t control it, it takes over me and might mist my eyes.

we haven’t known each other for very long, just for a few months. time is a vague issue for pisces. time is not a good measure of their heights of passions or depth of feelings.

call me foolish for trusting in something so un-scientific but feelings are not logic-based as well. are they?

we locked hands and made a promise to each other. i won’t forget what i’ve promised and will put my heart to achieving it.

please don’t forget yours.

because it’s all that i have now.

of uncles and wines.

yay! today’s a good day…

meeting up with the “uncle” and ps can be one of the most fun things to do!

“uncle” brought us to this realllllllllly good japanese restaurant that serves reallllyyyy good chawanmushi. absolutely fantastic. nothing comes near! i think this is one of the best japanese restaurant i’ve been too. even the deco and waitresses wins other places hands down.

i’m addicted to the chawanmushi there. hurhurhur!

yummy!

***

after dinner, it was drinking time! no surprise, after all, i was out with “uncle”! we decided to forgo our usual watering holes and decided to go upscale - wine. i’m not a big fan of wine, but whatever “uncle” says i usually won’t contradict.

the place (some well-hidden but relatively well-known place) was packed but luckily we managed to get a table..bottles were opened, wine glasses were filled, smoking started and our nonsense chattering began.

i always feel relaxed after going out with them. somehow, i feel that i can be myself. i need not fear judgement nor second guess what their intentions are.

happy night… light-hearted. even if it’s for a night, it feels so bloody good. yay!

*jumps around in glee* hee hee.

***

long-awaited friday! but i have to attend a course on saturday. bloody hell, burn my sat and still don’t give me time off. nb.

limbo.

i feel like i’m living in a limbo state.

i can’t feel my existance…i’m living but i’m not. it seems as though i’m just going through the motions of life everday, but not really living my life.

limbo state.

and stop asking me what’s wrong already. i would have told you the first time you asked if i wanted to. if not, get off my back.

you can’t help anyway.

i know who are the ones who care sincerely and who are the ones who do not, but it’s just that i choose not to acknowledge and act upon that knowledge.

yes, so stop trying to be kaypoh. if you really want to help, you can start first by not asking so many questions which i don’t want to answer.

***

i used to think that wisdom came with age. apparently not. some of the people i know are acting so bloody stupid that i can’t stand it. stop that bullshit. you piece of childish-kokanathan-piece-of-shit.

if you want to mess around, do it far away from me and my friends so at least i don’t have to endure the knowledge of your foolish actions. ignorance is bliss in this case.

***

i feel drained. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP. i don’t want to talk. if you want to help, just drink.

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

breathe, rewind, restart.

for the benefit of my friends who can’t view/understand chinese characters, strange words in the previous entry roughly translate into…

if you have the guts to play with fire, you must be prepared for the possibility of getting burnt.

i played. i got burnt.

that’s all.

***

enough of the emo stuff, let’s get back to the mundane life again.

it’s only the third day at work in my new workplace and things are surely starting to heat up. i realise that in this industry, datelines are defined by hours and not by days.

i’m over-utilising my eye and brain power… and now, i’m paying the price with a headache that won’t go away.

if this is the honeymoon period, i can’t imagine what life will be after that.

no-brainer work -> i complain.

overly challenging work -> i also complain.

some people are just hard to please.

and i’m one of them. muahaha.

another day at work tomorrow… what would tomorrow bring?

hopefully not crazy assignments with super tight datelines again.

but seriously, despite the time constraints, anxiety and headaches, i think i might learn to like what i’m doing. i must.

because only when you like what you do can you then do it better. and better.

i hope lah.

goodnights and to a better tomorrow!

the moment of truth

on valentine’s day,

the moment of truth has arrived.

i’ve faced it and gotten my answer.

and i will tell myself.

我玩得起。。。。

我真的玩得起。

不相信？放马过来。

countdown to day zero - day #5

four more days left. four more remaining days in this familiar environment where i’ve build much friendships over the last few months.

everytime a fellow colleague asks me when’s my last day…where are you going or why are you leaving, i can feel my heart lurching just a little.

everyone says that work is just work and everyone’s gotta move on sometime. you can’t be tied down just because of relationships.

really?

as i’m faced with more and more questions from my colleagues, more doubts begin to be raised in my head. i’m growing ever more fearful of regretting my decision. more importantly, the extend of sorrow i feel is deepening. sorrow because i’m leaving my fellow work mates who have wonderful all the way.

i keep trying to convince myself that this is the correct step and that i must not let my emotions rule my head. logic should. commonsense should. it is the right thing to do. it must be the right thing to do.

it must……it must….

god, help me.

***

he’s damn bloody late for work today. i thought he wasn’t coming…until i saw him at his table. i really must stop my mind from wandering and focus on work.

focus missy! focus!

sigh.

damn women and their tears. damn pisces and their water signs.