Protected: a letter to you
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最近发生了很多事，不知道从何说起。
心情起伏不定，却又表达不出来。
既然有口难言，就让歌曲说出心情的写照。。。
每次听到这首歌，都觉得感触很深。
也许是歌词写的感人，还是歌手感情丰富。
无论怎样，她都唱出了某些感受， 某些伤痛。。。让听的人产生共鸣。
就希望当这首歌唱完时，感触也就此结束。
January 21, 2008
January 7, 2008
November 21, 2007
July 4, 2007
This I promise you
i used to listen to the radio alot, especially in my secondary school days. during the days when i was studying for my o levels prelims and examinations at the world trade centre, perfect ten, 933 and class 95 were my constant companions. i could recite which djs were playing at which time of the day off the top of my head without giving it any thought then.
however, when mp3s and ipod players were popularised, everything changed. listening to the radio became an obselete activity - for me at least.
while at work today, a sudden urge to listen to the radio striked me… i don’t know why but couldn’t care less. i whipped out my earphones, plugged them into the ibook and began to stream class95. right up to this moment, i’m still listening to it.
class95 is truly a classic channel. i’ve heard alot of old songs…(by old, i don’t mean ancient songs like the ’smoke gets in your eyes’ type…i mean songs that were overplayed during my secondary school days). these songs brought back alot of memories, especially of my younger days during late teens.
just moments ago, the station played a song which striked me particularly hard. it shouldn’t be too hard to guess which song it is, right?
‘n sync - this i promise you.
yes, it’s a cheesy boyband song, the lyrics are blatant, mushy, over-the-top etc. i know.
but listening to it…reminds me of a very special someone in my past.
someone that i have always remembered…and will always remember.
someone whose hug i can never forget despite the many years that have passed.
someone who never forgets my birthday every year…and never fails to send me a birthday greeting. every year - even when we’ve not been in contact for years, except during my birthdays.
someone who taught me the meaning of heartache.
someone who i’ve always refused to eliminate from my life…by keeping his number in my mobile and his image by my side.
someone whom i can’t look at in the eye…because i fear that he might see how vulnerable i was to him.
someone who made me afraid of the the anguish which might come later - should i allow myself to be overly happy when i was with him.
someone who overwhelmed me so much…that i once placed him on top of bosom friendships.
someone who caused me fear and the tendancy to run and avoid when it came to relationships.
i’m sure most of you will have a song…that will remind you of someone special in various phrases of your life.
he doesn’t have only one. he has a few.
not only that, he was someone who made me believe that the things they sing in cheesy love songs…can be real.
and this song, is one of those theme songs.
‘N Sync - This I Promise You
When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I’ll be your strength,
I’ll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it’s gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..
And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you
I’ve loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never…
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we’ve won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun…
Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won’t go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..
Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn’t be living at all…
And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby
Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won’t go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you…
no, don’t be mistaken. i’m not depressed or anything like that.
after all these years, it has become a kind of bitter-sweet feeling… and if given a choice to live that part of my life again, i might just choose to walk the same path.
he taught me love, pain, longing, betrayal and fear. but most importantly, because of him, i’ve learnt to find strength within myself…after alot of damage and internal struggles.
but hey, i’ve lived.
i wonder where and how is he, right now at this moment…
June 12, 2007
Against better judgement - not.
I used to think that I was pretty savvy at judging a person’s character - at least the basic characteristics such as whether he or she possesses a humane kind nature etc.
But I realised, after such a long time, that I was bloody mistaken.
And alongside with that horrendous mistake, I’ve been accused of being too naive, too soft-hearted and overly trusting - all of which I denied because they only applied to weaklings and I’m definitely not one.
However, a recent turn of events proved me wrong, very very wrong in fact. That, in itself, will be another entry.
I really don’t know if I should be disappointed at this realisation or happy that, at least, I’ve made this realisation now.
May 22, 2007
April 24, 2007
Phantom of the Opera
The scene was set in January when we decided that we will watch the Phantom of the Opera together in April.
I’ve always been mesmerised by the story of the Phantom of the Opera.
Dark, mysterious, painful and romantic, the storyline has captivated my heart long ago even before I’ve watched it in motion in any form, be it a movie or musical.
When the movie came to town in the past, I’ve watched it immediately. Despite being a commercial film, the show deeply moved me. It was not so much about the actors, the quality of the movie or even the singing, it was the storyline.
Watching the musical itself, with flesh and blood actors…just made it even more enthralling.
The Phantom - The dark mysterious character that had to live his whole life behind the shield of a mask.
Despite having endured torturing loneliness for most of his life and facing rejection from the world, he had the capacity to love Christina so deeply. That, in itself, is a remarkable trait. With his overpowering chrisma and charm, he tugged at my heart strings so. As I saw him battle the pain of rejection and a lost love, it was almost as if I could feel it myself - the wrenching pain in the heart that made it difficult to breathe, the suffocating sensation whereby life seemed to have collapsed upon you.
Don’t you remember the feeling?
Most will probably call me stupid. It’s just a musical afterall. A fragment of imagination of an artistic mind.
But I can’t help but to be deeply affected. It felt like reality and fantasy had fused into one…I was transported so far beyond into the story.
The grandeur, the pain, the passion and the love. I was simply swept away.
Words cannot describe how I felt…Even now as I think back, I could still feel the story so vividly that I can feel the tremours within me.
Only one word can describe the experience - magical.
And it wasn’t just the musical itself that made it so.
The whole night seemed like a fantasy… and it was one magical fantasy that I hope didn’t have to end.
But all good things come to an end and when you’re so high up, there’s no where to go but down.
Now, let the pain begin.
July 2, 2006
loss
on the day england lost their dream of world cup 2006, i lost a dear friend that is close to my heart.
a very late but very important update: england still lost their dream of world cup 2006… but i did not lose my friend. thank god! *dances around*
stupid wordpress’s comments functions is screwed up big time!
June 30, 2006
paranoid
i realise that i’m becoming a little paranoid… i keep thinking that what i have imagined in my head is going to come true and it seems to me that there are signs pointing towards it. i wish there was someone i could talk to regarding this because as what they say, the on-looker will be able to see things more clearly.
i wish that the on-looker would tell me that i’m being over-sensitive. i wish that the on-looker would tell me that i’m being plain silly. i wish that the on-looker would tell me that i’ve over-analysed things. i wish that the on-looker would tell me that i’m over paranoid.
most of all, i wish that the on-looker can tell me that this is just a bad dream that i can wake up from.
is that possible?
updates: i don’t know if it’s fate…but less than 2 hours within this was posted, someone cleared this up for me. i was not oversensitive nor paranoid…i read the signs but interpreted them wrongly. or so i think.
and yes, i lurveeeeeee gracey!
