absolute-ly missy

the latest, hottest and most juicy news of singapore blogmisphere now is the coming out of two young gay boys, colin and kero.

barely 21, these boys have bravely came out of their closets to the whole world via a lovers’ blog that they jointly contribute to. in this blog, they write about their daily lives, their views of homosexuality and most importantly, their explicit feelings towards each other. as a result, this blog has seen high volumes of traffic and generated much controversy amongst its readers. reactions from readers greatly differed from displaying strong support and encouragement to these boys to expressing great disapproval of their actions. in the midst of such mixed reactions, these boys continue to blog on.

***

my take?

these boys are barely 18, what do they know about homosexuality? don’t give me that bullshit about how love should be free, how instinctive homosexuals are about their sexual preferences. these boys are barely out of the schoolroom and are still dependent on their parents. do they know the repercussions of their actions now?

they might think it’s a heroic action now, to stand out and declare themselves to be homosexual. it’s a romantic notion, the “us against the world” idea, but do these boys realise that such “romantic” notions die along with time as we age and grow into adulthood? such is our world.

i do not have advice for these boys. i only have questions. questions that they need not answer to me, to society or even to their parents. they only need to be able to answer it to themselves honestly.

1. how can you be sure that you are truly homosexual? in teenage years, it is very common to have crushes on someone of the same gender and these crushes normally seemed like love at that point in time. 

2. have you truly thought about the repercussions of your public coming out? have you thought about how it will affect your futures, in both your working and family life? it’s easy to disregard the world when you don’t depend on it to make a living, but what happens when you do? we might not be the most conservative country around here, but we are indeed still a long way off from being liberal and open minded. homosexuality is still not widely accepted as a norm, if you didn’t realise.

3. are you ready to face all consequences and bear the blunt of it all? to face up to the possibility of rejection at every turn in your career path? i agree that love is great but it does not put food in your stomach.

if you are able to answer these questions with conviction and absolute belief, then i congratulate you sincerely for finding your other half and applause you for your courage to stand up for what you are.

but if you have the smallest hint of doubt nagging at you, i suggest you take a step back to think about what you have done and what you might do to remedy this situation.

when i was new and fresh in the world of blogging, i used to enjoy reading other people’s blogs tremondously. i read without judgements and without pressure, reading purely for pleasure and curiousity’s sakes.

however, as i stayed longer in the world of blogging, straying further and deeper, i’ve gotten to know many of the faces behind these various blogs, even have build up varying degrees of friendships with these bloggers.

although i am thankful for these relationships that i’ve cultivated in this circle of friends, i can’t say that it has been all gains and no loss. as i ploughed through many blogs today, i realised that i’ve lost the desire to read many of them. they no longer excite me as they used to.

did meeting the real person behind these words make them lose their x-factor?

or was it the loss of the air of mystery that makes it so much less exciting?

it wasn’t as though the blogs became less interesting. it was just that reading some of these blogs became so tiring.

because once you know the person behind the blog and is involved some way or another in his/her life, nothing is simple anymore. you can’t read the blog in a detached manner, like it isn’t any part of your business.

i’m talking about 100% detachment.

it has lost the fun element.

the easiest way to understand this would be through the example of gossiping. imagine you’ve heard a rumour about so-and-so, whom you do not know at all. it’s easy to share this piece of juicy gossip with your friend, spicing up your conversation. but what if you are acquainted with this so-and-so person, you probably wouldn’t feel very good about gossiping about this person, and most probably, would not get involved to sabotage this person’s reputation.

it boils down all to a matter of your level of involvement with the other person.

now, who understands what i’m talking about?

some bloody fucker just called me from a private line and spewed a bunch of obscene “speech” heavily peppered with vulgarities. the most beautiful thing is, i don’t even know who the bloody arsehole is. he introduced himself as “kelvin”.

when i told him that i was going to cut the line, he even told me not to act decent.

what is the world coming to?

i’m not going to take this lying down if it happens again. if by any minute chance that the culprit is reading this, take heart.

and fuck off, loser.

i’m dying.

seriously.

it has been a mad house at work recently and it seems like we’re taking on more than we can handle. to make matters worse, one of my colleagues AD has been sick and now, she’s infecting me and another of our colleague.

although i’m not feeling well, i can’t take mc…i can’t allow myself to fall very sick because the workload is increasing at such an exponential speed that it’s impossible to catch up. nonetheless, i’m going to try my best…or die trying, whichever comes first. haha.

everyone pray for me that i don’t fall sick!  =(

***

to suzsays:

i’m no expert on wordpress and is new to it as well. i’ll tell you what i know and hope it will help. the steps are as below.

1. you’ve got to host your image on picture hosting website. this is NOT the wordpress website, it is another website that allow you to “save” your image on their website, something like an online harddisk. the one i’m using now is photobucket.com. it’s a free website, but comes with limited space for your images.

2. after uploading your image to the picture hosting website, urls tags will be generated automatically for you by these websites. take note of this url tags.

3. in your wordpress, go to “insert image” on the formatting bar while u’re in the ‘write post” screen. copy and paste the url tag mentioned in step 2 to the url address in the insert image box.

4. picture will be displayed exactly like your original size.

hope this helps!

after spending the early half of my saturday recuperating from friday’s activities, i was fully prepared to stay at home and snuggle up with my computer and idiot box. however, things were not meant to be and plans made were to be changed!

instead of nuaing (generally means doing nothing at all), i met up with gracey and km for dinner and a movie. we had wanted to watch this movie.

despite 8days giving it only 2.5 stars (and giving The Hils Have Eyes 3 stars),i think it was wayyyyy better than what they credit it for. or maybe the reviews at 8days just aint suckers for dance-themed movies like me.

Antonio Banderas was hot, hot, hot! he has this electrifying and intense look that makes you think he can see right through you. ooooooooooooh. sexy. besides this sexy devil, the sensual dance moves also kept the movie heated throughout. dancing, i like!

the movie activated my itchy feet to go dancing again and coupled with 2 groups of friends that jio-ed me down to dbl o and o bar respectively, i succumbed to the temptation and went forth to mhd sultan.

12.30am – reaching the club, the quene for dbl o was soooo freaking long (retro night what…hahaha), i decided to hit o bar for some RnB grooves first before going up to dbl o later. Oh, before i forgot, i met alyvn and friends (yen and dave, i think) there too.

1.30am – time to head up to dbl o for some retro fun! all was lost once i hit the dance floor with my long-time dbl o kakis. the night was spent dancing away to awesome retro tracks until the lights came on.

4.30am – with alcohol pumping through our veins, we were not yet ready to go home and so, we did what anyone else would do which is to go for supper! i was so exhausted i barely touched my prata while dear brother mr. m and jr were talking away. ready to admit defeat to the Z monster, we finally crawled home at 5am.

my habit to bathe after i reach home is really not helping and it is also the reason why i am blogging at such weird hours. my hair is wet, my mind has shutdown, but i still can’t sleep because i am so fucking refreshed after the shower.

what the hell.

but yay, i like the movie! what a good saturday!

despite sleeping at an ungodly hour of 4am yesterday, i managed to drag myself out of bed at 8.30am this morning (gracey had to give me a morning call, of course! thanks dear!) to meet km, nad, jaschoc and gracey for breakfast at east coast park. yea, you’ve heard right. to have a macdonalds breakfast, i had to go down all the way to the east. i guess it wasn’t the breakfast, it was the company that made my effort worthwhile.

after a sinful breakfast of macdonald’s breakfast, km and nad embarked on the mission of orientating gracey on how to blade. i had wanted to try my hand (or legs, in this case?) at it too but after my “flight” which results in numerous injuries, i decided to push my coming-out to a later date. while the trio was off blading, jaschoc and i decided to chill and read while waiting for them. other than the magazine, i didn’t managed to read my book at all! i was busy being stonic and people/dog-watching.

after ecp, we headed to km’s house for a bout of mahjong! the deathmatch involved gracey, me, jas and km. nad was busy being my first-aider, helping me to rub my bruises. thank you sweetie! after playing one round, i won a grand total of…………………….$1.80.

haha! luck’s lousy.

after relieving our itchy hands, me and gracey headed down to meet some of her friends for our after-dark activity. needless to say, we went to eat, drink, sing and make merry!

i actually have some thoughts that i had wanted to put into words, but somehow, words does not come easily at this time at night. i need to put my thoughts in order.

it was a good friday, in my humble opinion.

which means it’s most probably wala night.

i just reached home from a more-crowded-than-usual wala night. you should have seen the Q man. it was ridiculous.

anyway, i’m so fucking tired now i’m actually yawning continously as i type this and i’ve got to wake up at 830am tomorrow for breakfast at ecp. i can’t believe it.

zzzzz…..

while i was bathing, i recollected some silly things i did in the past, especially one stupid act in particular. i guess it was triggered by seeing him today. it just came out of the blue.

seriously, what was it that possessed me to do such things? i can’t begin to fanthom it. i must have been one hell of an idiot in the past.

i want my bed.

oh my god, these kids really can sing!

initially, i had dismissed the whole programme, thinking that it was channel u’s way of squeezing the superstar fad to its maximum so i didn’t bother to watch until i was forced to do it one day while i was at home and my aunt had to absolutely watch it or she will faint.

so i watched.

and watched i did!

im impressed by these kids. barely out of their teens, these kids can carry a tune that will put any adult to shame! omigosh.

i was particularly rooting for two of the contestants, adriano and cheeyang. yes, i do have a thing for supporting underdogs and they were underdogs at first!

plus they were cute. geeky, nerdy kind of cute. i like. hurhur.

if i’m not mistaken, both made it quite far, adriano was forth-last to be eliminated in the boys category and as far as i’m concerned, he lost out in the looks department compared to the other boys who were the classic cute type. the type that young girls swoon over. yucks.

not to be disappointed, cheeyang went on to clinch the champion title for campus superstar with his absolutely electrifying duet with xinhui (which electrocuted me as well, i was swooning) and ended off on a grand note with his soulful rendition of some very difficult song with high pitches (can’t remember the song title now).

hey, you record companies, hurry produce an album for him…..i’ll definitely buy a copy. that’s high praise from me, if you don’t know it yet. hurrrrryy!!

okay, flying might be a little over-doing it.

i shall tell the story here, once and for all, so that i don’t have to keep repeating what happened to me. here goes.

on tuesday, when i was about to rush out of office to go for a meeting, i think i missed the first step on the staircase on the third floor. as not many people know, my office is actually situated on the third floor in a shop-house setting and so, the staircase from my office will lead down all the way to the first floor.

since i missed the first step right on top, i tumbled all the way down, face forward.

actually, while i was tumbling, i could actually think about it in a detached manner! my thought then, was to protect my face. yes, i give a new meaning to vain.

after tumbling for about an eternity (okay, it was actually about 30 seconds in reality), i ended up in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. mayhap it was the shock or the impact of the fall, i blacked out for a few minutes. my colleagues, who were gathering all around me, did not dare to move me for fear of broken bones.

i came to quickly and moved slowly into an upright sitting position. when assured that all my bones were intact, my other injuries started to inflict pain on me. i knocked my calf bone against the steps, so there was a big swelling there. i scraped both my legs. i twisted one of my ankles slightly and my body and arms suffered numerous bruises.

i’m blue-black-ed all over now. so ugly!

at least my face’s intact. yay!

i’ve finally watched the v for vendetta.

initially, i thought it was going to be a dry and heavily laden political show, somewhat like a documentary. to my surprise, it turn out to be everything…not.

the show depicted uk being ruled by a communist-like political party. this party played on citizens’ fears of diseases and wars to gain their absolute obedience. under the cruel ruling party, its citizens cowered and continued to live their mundane lives, closing their eyes, minds and hearts to their environment, to their feelings.

only one man had dared to think freely, to embrace ideas that he deemed to be worthy. he undertook a mission, an ambitious and seemingly-unachievable mission – to wake all of his fellow countrymen up. he wanted his fellow countrymen to think for themselves, to decide for themselves their fates and not to live in fear of their government.

to accomplish his mission, he sacrificed his identity, his life and his love.

truth to speak, i’m really quite moved by the storyline. no, not by the love story that the scriptwriters had painstakingly woven into the plot. i’m moved by the fact that the hero in the show did not try to take credit for his mission. the hero had no name. he had no face. he had no identity.

all he wanted, was to be seen as an idea. he said “that the man might die, but the idea will live on”. it was a truly un-selfish act.

how many of us can claim to be like him? to claim that whatever we are doing is for a greater good, and that there are absolutely no selfish ulterior motives behind.

i can’t say that. it will be a lie.

for heaven’s sake,if you haven’t watched it, try your best to find it. it’s truly worth 160minutes of your time.